Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Sophie Talks | Choosing Happiness

I wanted to start this little blog series to sort of fulfil one of my new years resolutions - to write more. It’s not the only way I'm going to do this, but it’s definitely a start, and what better topic to begin with then happiness - my main focus for 2015.


If you asked me if I would have chosen happiness as a resolution around 6 months ago, I would probably have laughed. Who wouldn't choose to be happy? Well the truth is, I wasn’t. It’s not that I wasn't happy, I just wasn't consciously making the decision to live my life in such a way. I can’t say I wasn't happy this time last year - I was in a happy relationship, in a happy place at uni, surrounded by great people - but I wasn't putting myself first and consciously deciding to make myself happy, and that’s the issue. 

"Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. There's going to be stress in life, but it's your choice whether to let it affect you or not." - Valerie Bertinelli

In the past month or so, a lot of people have asked me how I am coping. Now if you didn't know, me and my ex boyfriend (who I was together with for almost 3 years) split up at the start of September, and truth be told when it happened I was a state. I held a lot of my emotions in and then just let them go over stupid things, like my mum wanting to go with my dad dropping my brother back at uni, rather than to go food shopping with me like she’d planned to the day before. It really was silly, but admittedly I sobbed the whole one and a half hour drive into London on the way to drop my brother off. I had just gone through a breakup, so why shouldn't I?

But then I got bored. I got bored of feeling upset, and down and just a mess. That was when it hit me. With the help of Cheryl Strayed’s Tiny Beautiful Things, my good friend Kelsey and later It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken, I realised that nothing was going to happen unless I made a move. It was at that moment, around the start of November, that I decided that I was going to put myself first, and choose happiness. I could have spent months sulking, eating junk food to help with the pain and probably lose more of the wonderful people in my life. But I didn't. I am in no way saying I am over the break-up, or that I don’t miss what it was, because it was such a big part of my life, and he made such an impact on my life, but I couldn't sit around waiting for things to get better.

Being happy is a great thing, but the act of choosing happiness is even better. If you are consciously choosing to be happy, you really do see that there is a lot more in life to be happy about, and to love. I honestly thought at the beginning of last year that being in a relationship was such a wonderful thing, but looking back now, I can see that being (almost) 22 and single is an even better thing. I’d been in that relationship since I was 18, and that was all I knew. I didn't really know who I was as a single person - I didn't know what I wanted out of life, as me, and I definitely didn't know how to make myself happy. I'm a different person now to who I was at 18, and so I have had to spend that time starting to find who I am again, and what makes me happy. I am getting there. It may take a while, but I am getting there.

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” - Stacey Charter

Be in charge of your own happiness. I am!

Sophie x

P.S If you have any suggestions for future topics or want to join in this conversation, leave me a comment or use #SophieTalks on twitter!


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